So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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