So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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