THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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