I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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