I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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