He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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