I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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