Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
