You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
