Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
