i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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