I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
