We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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