Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
