The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
