Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
