how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
