Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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