i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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