Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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