Just mADE A PArabola og urine
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
