8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I want to fling myself into the sun
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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