5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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