We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
