im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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