i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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