Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
