so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
