I'm jealous of your bromance
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
