so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
