we have officially lost it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
