Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
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Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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