Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
