I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This house was built for laser tag.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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