So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
