Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
