That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
