My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
