the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
