is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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