i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
