i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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