i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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