I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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