Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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