Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
