I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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