I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do vagina's smell?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
