I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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