ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
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is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How naked do you want me to be?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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