your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
