your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.