i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.