idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died