Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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