Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  are we going to glenview for practice??

  (847): View more from Illinois

  (3 hrs later) aids

  (248): View more from Michigan

  where r u? what is story? im way too high right now

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  (248): are we going to glenview for practice?? (847): (3 hrs later) aids (248): where r u? what is story? im way too high right now http://tfl.nu/h122
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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  (847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8
  Replies (24) Good night (698) Bad night (3579)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1461) Bad night (6965)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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  (765): He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something. http://tfl.nu/5hhc
  Replies (16) Good night (4582) Bad night (1915)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it

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  (973): I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it http://tfl.nu/vptm
  Replies (7) Good night (3768) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.

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  (425): I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/1sxi
  Replies (13) Good night (3588) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do what your heart wants. . .

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis

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  (901): Do what your heart wants. . . (504): My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis http://tfl.nu/o9fm
  Replies (7) Good night (2508) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up

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  (843): I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up http://tfl.nu/n9q8
  Replies (4) Good night (939) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess

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  (908): I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess http://tfl.nu/xjsr
  Replies (3) Good night (2255) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!

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  (704): To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast. (704): Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger! http://tfl.nu/sya3
  Replies (8) Good night (1389) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  I thought I could.

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  (623): You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!' (1-623): I thought I could. http://tfl.nu/l4oh
  Replies (4) Good night (3096) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.

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  (812): the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica. http://tfl.nu/fg5p
  Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp

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  (954): I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp http://tfl.nu/qcef
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.

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  (513): Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C. http://tfl.nu/3wtt
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.

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  (317): I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis. http://tfl.nu/cvxz
  Replies (5) Good night (559) Bad night (239)

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