i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.