how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months