Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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