Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
