this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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