ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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