I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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