im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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