i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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