We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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