Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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