I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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